The Complete Guide to Writing a Memoir
Writing your book doesn’t have to be a difficult, complex process.
Are you considering writing a memoir? You’re not alone. Many people want to share their life lessons and experiences through memoirs. However, writing a memoir can feel like a monumental task, especially when doing it alone. You need to navigate a whole world of design choices and printing options before your book finds its audience. Thankfully, self-published authors have abundant support and resources at their fingertips.
Palmetto Publishing is a comprehensive memoir-writing solution. We collaborate closely with authors to bring their literary dreams to life through tailored packages that include editing, cover design, formatting, distribution, printing, and more.
Despite the many tools available to help you publish a memoir, it can still be challenging — so if you’re wondering, “How do you write a memoir?” This guide is for you! It covers what a memoir is and isn’t and gives step-by-step instructions for writing a story people want to read. You’ll also learn more about how to publish a memoir and the options available to get it into your readers’ hands.
What is a Memoir?
A memoir is a personal narrative drawn from your life experiences. It tells the story of who you are, what shaped you, and the lessons you’ve learned. A memoir usually centers on a common theme and may focus on a specific period or challenge in the author’s life.
Memoirs are nonfiction, but the most engaging memoirs read more like novels. They recount events in vivid detail and convey strong emotional messages to the reader.
For example, in his Pulitzer-nominated memoir When Breath Becomes Air, author Paul Kalanithi recalls dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis as a 36-year-old neurosurgery resident. In the best-selling memoir Educated, Tara Westover describes pursuing formal education after a minimally homeschooled childhood. Even Julius Caesar chronicled his journey in “Commentaries on the Gallic Wars,” dating back to around 50 BCE.
Some of the most insightful and impactful books ever published are memoirs. And some of the most life-changing true stories can compel even the most jaded reader. Autobiographies can be compelling, too, but memoirs are the personal stories that cut to the heart.
Memoir vs. Autobiography: What’s the Difference?
If you’re like many authors, you’ve asked yourself a fundamental question: isn’t a memoir just an autobiography?
Nope, they’re different.
While both share the idea of personal experiences, there are five key differences between the two.
Philosophy
An autobiography is a complete chronological account of the author’s life. It’s the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the author’s life journey. Memoirs, on the other hand, explore specific events or themes. They give authors more creative freedom and allow for subjective storytelling. The word “memoir” comes from the French term “memoire,” which means “memory.” This highlights the focus on personal recollection and interpretation.
Scope
Because autobiographies provide a chronological account of an author’s life, they’re more like panoramic images. They give a broad view of a person’s life while occasionally stopping to highlight key events and achievements. Memoirs are more like a snapshot in time, focusing on specific themes, experiences, or periods of the author’s life.
Structure
Autobiographies follow a linear structure, while memoirs often have a non-linear, fragmented approach. These structural differences can significantly alter the book’s narrative flow.
Style
Another major distinction between memoirs and autobiographies is the emotional tone. Memoirs are full of emotions and create meaning from the past, while autobiographies typically have a more formal tone. Readers tend to connect with memoirs more personally because of the deep layers of emotion and meaning.
Audience
Readers who want factual information about an author are likelier to enjoy autobiographies. However, memoirs can attract readers who want personal connections or insights into an author’s life experiences.
Writing a Memoir Step-by-Step
You don’t have to be a bestselling author to write a memoir, but you’ll have an easier time writing if you’re purposeful in your approach. You’ll also craft a more successful book.
This step-by-step guide to writing a memoir will serve as your road map. Don’t worry about memorizing it — you can always bookmark this page or print it out for future reference. Right now, focus on visualizing your writing journey.
Step 1 Choose Your Theme
Memoir writers who get stuck usually have one thing in common. They sit down with the intent to “share their stories,” but they don’t have a clear focus. They try to say too much and go in too many different directions. This makes for a confusing book — or worse, an unfinished one.
A good way for a writer to start a memoir is to take the time to plan the theme. A well-crafted memoir needs a powerful, unifying theme to be engaging. A theme will give your memoir direction and help you choose the most impactful stories to include. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you begin writing memoirs.
- What emotions do I want to spark with my story?
- What message do I want to convey?
- What life lessons have I learned that others could benefit from?
Don’t worry if you can’t think of any unique or exciting life experiences. Some memoirs are powerful because they’re relatable to other “ordinary” people.
Maybe you’ve learned a lot from raising your children. Maybe you’ve learned important lessons from the relationships you’ve formed in your lifetime. These themes can make powerful and popular books.
Take the compelling memoir She Matters by Susanna Sonnenberg. This 2013 book focuses on the joy, pain, and power of female friendships. People of any gender can see their friendships in this book’s 304 pages. That’s what makes it powerful.
Step 2 Make a List of Anecdotes
Before you start actively writing a memoir, examine your ideas and identify the ones that strongly resonate with you and the theme of your book. Focus on choosing ideas that best serve the primary goal of a memoir: engaging in emotive storytelling. These chosen ideas are commonly known as anecdotes.
Anecdotes are brief, captivating narratives recounting real-life incidents or encounters. Often drawn from personal experiences, anecdotes illustrate or strengthen a discussion, speech, or book. Their purpose is to captivate the reader’s attention effectively.
Create a bulleted list, brainstorming web, or graphic to map out your anecdotes for your memoir. This approach will help you easily visualize and arrange the components in the most effective sequence to kickstart the writing process.
Step 3 Plan the Opening
Now that you have a list of anecdotes, it’s time to plan the opening. Your memoir’s opening is crucial because it sets the tone and hooks the reader from the very start. It’s your opportunity to make a lasting impression and convince readers to keep turning the pages. Here are some tips to help you write a captivating and engaging opening.
- Set the scene. Choose a captivating moment, scene, or event to draw readers into your story.
- Engage your readers from the first word. Your opening line should be attention-grabbing and leave the reader wanting more.
- Build emotion. Use vivid descriptions, details, and authentic emotions to create an experience that resonates with your audience.
- Open with a dramatic moment or a laugh. This can be an effective way to gain their interest and set the tone for the story that follows.
- Build trust with the reader. One of the best tips for memoir writing is to invite readers into your world and make them feel like they’re on your journey with you.
Step 4 Create an Outline
While the thought of writing thousands of words may seem overwhelming, these tips can ease you into the process and get you working through your first draft.
Write in manageable chunks. Break down your writing sessions into smaller, more achievable goals, aiming to write 500, 1,000, or 2,000 words daily. Dividing your work into smaller pieces can make memoir writing feel more manageable.
Create a writing schedule. Balancing writing with other commitments can take time and effort. Design a writing schedule that aligns with your existing responsibilities, helping you stay on track and accountable to completing your memoir.
Just write. Keep it simple. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself in the first draft. Remember, this is just the start, and it’s okay if your writing feels messy and disjointed. The key is to get your ideas down on paper. You can refine your writing later.
Step 5 Write Your Story
Once you have your story organized, start writing. The introduction to your memoir might flow easily at first, but many writers hit a roadblock when diving into the meat of the narrative. Don’t let this discourage you — stay confident in your story and crystal clear about the messages you want to convey.
You also don’t have to start at the beginning of your memoir. If you want to start with chapter four because it’s where you write about a life-changing moment, go for it. You have your outline to keep you on track, so trust it. This is the time to dive deeply into your story and make it as compelling as possible.
Here are some additional tips for writing a memoir that your audience will love.
Write Like a Novelist
The purpose of a memoir is very different from a novel. However, adopting a novelist’s approach can breathe life into your story. Novels engage people because they paint detailed pictures. You want readers to connect to your memoir in the same way. So, write it like fiction.
Most importantly, flesh out your “characters” — yes, they’re real people, but the reader doesn’t know them yet. Bring them to life and show the reader their mannerisms, appearance, and way of speaking.
The more vivid you are, the more readers will connect to the people in your story.
Show, Don’t Tell
This may be the most common advice in writing, but it bears repeating, especially for memoir writing. It’s easy to become the narrator of your life, but readers will engage more if they can see the scene unfold.
Instead of telling readers what happened, paint a picture. Imagine you’re watching a movie of your life and describing it. What did you see, hear, and do? Help the reader understand what it was like to live that experience.
Write Truthfully
When writing a memoir, it’s important to be honest and authentic. Don’t fictionalize events for the sake of drama or to build interest. Readers will connect with your story better if they sense your honesty on the page.
Add Others’ Related Stories
While your memoir is primarily about your own experiences, consider adding related stories from those involved in the events you’re writing about. This can add depth, context, and different perspectives to your story.
Get Vulnerable
Don’t hold back with memoir writing. To create a genuinely compelling and emotional story, be willing to be vulnerable and share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Writing a memoir is an opportunity to connect with people on a personal level. Your readers will appreciate your courage.
Talk About How This Affects Your Life Today
Memoirs aren’t just recounts of past events — they’re also explorations of how those experiences have shaped and impacted your life now. When writing memoirs, think about how the events you’re writing about have influenced your worldviews, relationships, and personal growth. Doing so can add depth to your memoir.
Create an Emotional Journey
Writing a memoir involves taking the reader on an emotional journey. Use your words to evoke various emotions, such as joy, grief, fear, and everything in between. Create scenes that will resonate with readers personally and help them experience the emotional highs and lows of your story with you.
Step 6 Read and Edit
When you’re finished writing a memoir, it’s time to read and edit to minimize errors and make sure it tells your story exactly how you want. Here are some tips for editing.
Set Your Draft Aside
After you write the last word, put your manuscript aside for a few weeks. Taking a break from your memoir will help you gain some distance and perspective so you can approach the next revision with fresh eyes.
Make Sure It’s a Story You Would Enjoy Reading
After setting your book aside for a few weeks, come back to it and read it through from beginning to end. While going through each chapter, put yourself in the reader’s shoes and answer the following questions:
- Are the anecdotes captivating and enjoyable?
- Is there a clear message or lesson for the reader to grasp?
- Do the stories flow smoothly and contain the right amount of detail?
- Are there unnecessary distractions bogging them down?
Put Your Personality Into It
Make sure your unique personality and voice shine through in your story. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in a way that feels true to who you are. Embrace the characteristics and quirks that make you uniquely you.
Step 7 Have Someone Read It
Having other people read your book is an important step in any book-writing process. Authors are limited in how critical they can be of their own work, especially memoir writers. It’s the story of your life, and it’s impossible to read with a truly outside viewpoint.
After meticulously combing through your memoir, give it to someone else to read and review. Ask for feedback on spelling, grammar, and overall development. If possible, give it to someone with editing experience or a natural talent for writing to further refine your manuscript.
Once family and friends have read it, pass it along to an acquaintance, new friend, or stranger — someone who isn’t closely connected to you. Ask them to read it and tell you what worked, what didn’t, and what was confusing. While your story is your baby, accepting any constructive feedback is critical. These people could be your readers.
Now that your book has gone through several people for feedback, it’s time to pass your manuscript to a professional editor. This is where Palmetto Publishing comes in! Our experienced editors proofread and edit your manuscript, carefully reviewing its structure, tone, and textual flow to ensure a polished outcome. With a keen eye for detail, they can also thoroughly check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors, resulting in a professional, high-quality manuscript ready to be published and printed.
Examples of Memoirs
Frequently Asked Questions
What is memoir writing?
Writing a memoir involves creating a story centered around your personal experiences, memories, and life events. It lets you, as the writer, explore specific moments, relationships, or themes from your life through an introspective lens.
What are the five parts of a memoir?
- Exposition: Introduces the setting, characters, and central theme.
- Rising action: Where the story builds tension and conflict.
- Climax: The moment with the most tension and drama, where the central conflict reaches maximum intensity.
- Falling action: Where the results of the climax take place.
- Resolution: Provides closure, personal growth, and transformation.
How do you begin to write a memoir?
Start by writing down any interesting personal experiences, relationships, or themes around which to focus your story. Then, brainstorm pivotal moments, vivid memories, and meaningful events to add to your memoir. Finally, create a loose outline to structure your story.
How can I combat writer’s block when writing a memoir?
- Try freewriting to get your thoughts flowing.
- Change your writing environment or routine to spark new inspiration.
- Try sensory exercises, like recalling certain sights, smells, or sounds from your experiences.
- Explore different writing prompts or exercises.
- Take a break and return to your writing with fresh eyes.
How to Publish a Memoir
You’ve poured your heart and soul into writing your memoir, meticulously planning, writing, and refining it to perfection. If your ultimate goal is to share your story with the world, your next step involves delving into the publishing world.
Publishing is the production and distribution of your book to the public for sale. There are two main paths you can take: Traditional and Self-Publishing.
Traditional Publishing
Many memoir writers dream of releasing their books through major publishing houses. Getting a book deal does come with bragging rights, but the reality is that many memoir writers will never have the opportunity.
Memoirs are hard sells for publishers, especially if you’re an unknown author. You might find a publisher who believes in your story, but there’s no guarantee. There’s a good chance the road will be paved with rejections. In fact, the Fiction Writer’s Mentor says that publishers accept only about 1% to 2% of manuscripts— and that includes manuscripts from proven authors. If your goal is to share your story with the world, self-publishing is a much stronger option.
Self-Publish With Palmetto Publishing
Self-publishing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Palmetto Publishing is here to help with everything your memoir needs, including:
As a top publisher, Palmetto offers professional book design services that give your memoir a polished look. From the book title page to the back cover, we’ll make sure it’s something you can be proud of.
We even offer book layout help and a user-friendly book layout guide. By the time you’re ready for book marketing, everything about your memoir looks professional. If you’re interested in writing a memoir, drop us a line— even if you haven’t started writing it yet. We know you have a powerful story inside you, and we’re ready to help you share it.
